


Just Throw It All Away

by bubblegumclouds



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Cocaine, Drug Use, F/M, Fluff and Angst, Happy Ending, M/M, Prompt Fic, Smoking, Song Lyrics
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-04
Updated: 2017-12-04
Packaged: 2019-02-10 14:35:18
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,195
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12913944
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bubblegumclouds/pseuds/bubblegumclouds
Summary: Louis was just about over it all. Eleanor, parties and a copious amount of drink/drugs were all he needed for a good time. That was until he spottedhimacross the room.Or due to the release of the masterpiece that is Miss You by Louis Tomlinson, I decided to incorporate the lyrics into a story.





	Just Throw It All Away

**Author's Note:**

> Please check out Miss You by Louis Tomlinson! On iTunes, Google Play, Spotify and Apple Music.
> 
> Twitter- angeltxmlinson

Eleanor sat at the bar, her laugh obnoxious and loud and despite my adoration for her, I feel an immediate repel every time I hear it. She turns to me, the garish lights of the club lighting up her flawless skin the same as every single other weekend, and I struggle to force a smile up to her. I'm a little too drunk to panic about how distastefully I'm thinking about her but the buzz of the line I took is really starting to take it's effect. Eleanor pulls me towards the dancefloor when her favourite song blasts through the speakers, I follow but with so many people, things are starting to overload my brain. I place my hands on her awkwardly, dancing in the same way we've done since we were barely legal teenagers. Looking over her shoulder, my thoughts are racing and just as I'm considering another cigarette break, I see a familiar head of curls bobbing around by the bar. I blink dramatically a couple of times and that's when he turns and I gasp his name in pure shock. Is it my imagination? It can't be... that's _Harry._

Panicking, I scramble to get a better look but my legs are too damn short. We make such an effort to ensure this doesn't happen, we've been successfully avoiding each other since things got messy. I see him laughing, drinks being slid across towards him and I decide I need a break. I try to signal to Eleanor that I'm going outside and she nods, I don't doubt I was bad company anyway. I try and sneak one last look but the man has moved along and the space has been reclaimed by a stag group calling for their 10th shot round. The late night air is considerably thinner than that inside the club which is a welcome break for my lungs. The only sound in the eerie street is my lighter clicking frantically against the fight of the wind. Maybe I should get a grip on things if this is how bad it's got. I go over factors that could be creating half the mess I've gotten into because there's no way I'm cutting out what I don't need to. Is it the drink? No, I've not had half of what I would usually. Is it something that I’m taking? Nah, it's not been long. Is it just that I could... miss him? I laugh bitterly out loud at the thought, leaning against the wall and taking a large drag of my cigarette. Must be the drink after all.

A few of Eleanor's friends come outside, asking after me and how I'm doing. They don't notice all the smiles that I’m faking when I reply the same thing every time.  
“Everything is great,” I slur, the alcohol residing in my stomach gradually taking over from the short coke effects. “Everything is fucking great,” I whisper just after they've gone. If they ever knew I was thinking about him again, I'd be back where I'd tried so hard to get away from. A life of lies, hiding and what I can only describe as hell. I'm perfectly happy going out every weekend and drinking away any doubts, thanks.

Making my way back in, I head for Eleanor, hoping she can alleviate some of my stresses. I find her giggling with her best friend while twirling to Havana, I reluctantly join them and find myself staring at the stars on the ceiling when I refuse to slut drop to the beat. I immediately regret going straight to Eleanor as she blanks me in favour of stumbling off with her friends to request a song. Planning, I realise I can get away as I see some of my more hollywood friends in the corner, I guess I've got to see them at some point.

The night isn't quite as hectic as usual but I manage to convince myself that this is such a good time, even if Nick has almost puked on me twice. He keeps saying each round will be his last and _sure_ I believe it this time, I mean it's only Tuesday night for god's sake, how is he going to cope for the rest of the week? After Nick finally does manage to get vomit on me, I decide that I'm going to have to go to the bathroom to get the disgusting stain permeating my expensive hoodie out so I worm my way away and revel in the fading vibration of the beat. Bar one guy being sick in the toilet, I'm finally alone and I try and comprehend my spinning head. Looking in the mirror, I notice how much of a mess I am, glazed over eyes, flushed cheeks, various stains littering my well-planned outfit. I don't let myself ponder on it, I'm not entirely sure where I'll end up if I do. Scrubbing my jeans, I see Nick coming in through the mirror and I know exactly what he's going to say.  
“Just one more pint... or five?” Nick smirks as he shouts the last part when he leaves, this is going to get even messier if this carries on but as I sigh and lay out another line I realise, does it even matter anyway?

Come midnight, we’re dancing on tables and when we're halfway through a brilliant rendition of Stormzy, that's when I notice him again. Even though I've managed to chuck this vodka down until I'm off my face, I know now, I was right all along. This time he's closer, only four rows back and in a smaller crowd this time. The words fail to tumble out of my mouth as I stare open-mouthed at him. His long hair was constantly being flicked off his face until he turned and... okay he was looking directly into my misty eyes. I'm trying to enjoy the dancing and appreciate the fact I'm with all of my people and it couldn’t get better... they say. I still don't believe them.

I know what the night will be like, we’re singing until last call then puking in the taxi on the way home but the second Harry's eyes pierce mine I know those plans will change. I try to carry on with the song, it's messy and it’s all out of tune but I got up on the prebooked table and I'm making a fool of myself already so why not. As the song finishes and my friends drunkenly laze over my shoulders I see Harry smirk at me, I feel like I should be laughing, but there’s something wrong, a cold ice in my stomach. I can't drag myself away from the grassland wonders in his irises long enough to try and think about why it's not sitting right. I step down and just about force myself to tear my eyes away as more shots are being forced down my throat in a messed up kind of 'celebration'. The reason why seeing him effected me so much was becoming clear now and it hits me when the lights go on. All I could whisper to myself was...

Shit, maybe I miss you.

Just like that and I’m sober with the realisation. Now everyone doesn't look so cool. The tired eyes and slumped bodies weren't shadowed and disguised by the low light any longer and I’m asking myself, is it over? I didn't even realise the night had gone on that long, let alone long enough for it to be over. Speaking of over, Harry was making his way through the crowd towards me and I was not ready for this.  
“Hey Lou, you did great up there,” Harry slurred a little but he still seemed in control of all his functions, unlike me. I stared for a little, not quite knowing what to reply with or where to even start with the old nickname.  
“Thanks, man, it's uh, been a while,” I tried not to giggle but a little snort erupted unwillingly. Harry laughed along and we just stood there, not knowing what was happening.  
“How are things?” Harry asked me as we were led out of the club by the masses.  
“Yeah, when everything fell apart, remember what I said?” I looked down and I felt Harry's glare on me.  
“Yeah, why?”  
“Well, maybe I was lying when I told you everything is great,” I tried to add a laugh to bring the mood up but Harry was clearly concerned by his facial expression. We parted ways and I could have sworn I hear Harry mutter as he got in the car,  
“Everything is fucking great.”

Over the next few days, I got more infatuated with Harry. I saw him everywhere and it seemed like the world was sending me a huge arrow leading towards the curly haired boy. It was all bringing back so many memories of my former self before things went south and all of these thoughts and the feelings seemed to hurt way more the second time around. I figured I'd at least try to patch things up and maybe try to ease the unspoken tension that spun across continents since our meeting. I figured I'd go with flowers, that was a nice thing to do, right? I ordered ones that closely matched his suit from the event a few days ago and the note attached read,  
 _Hope you like the flowers but it doesn’t matter if you don’t need them, just wanted to apologise for our awkward meeting, that's all ! Here's my number if you wanted to get in touch P.S didn't know you were a Gucci fan now. -Lou_

Since I sent the flowers, I’ve been checking my phone all evening and finally, at about 9, I got the well-awaited message.

_Harry- Don't worry about it, that night wasn't such a good time anyway, was nice to see you again. All the love, H .xx_

I text back and forth with him until bed, both of us telling each other that we won't go out again. Yeah... I believe it this time. I send him a goodnight text and a joke I don't think too much about.  
 _Me- Bet your mate Stan would laugh if he could see us now_  
I should have thought about it.

The texting goes silent and when I run into him briefly at a red carpet, I couldn't have been more blanked, his face fell the second he laid eyes on me, I wasn't sure what I'd done but it could have only been the joke that got him this bad. My attempts at cornering him were weak and my texting was even weaker. When I got home I realised, I needed advice.

So now I’m asking my friends, I ought to say I’m sorry. I don't know what for but it just felt like the right thing to do. Of course, they're no use as they say 'lad, give it time, there’s no need to worry.' That's all they ever say, time heals things. Well, not in my experience, it just pushes people further apart. So many years had built up to that moment and I'd messed it up on the first night already.

The reply came when I'd hounded him enough to warrant a response in desperation.  
 _Harry- will you please leave me be and we can’t even be on the phone now anyway. I know you're busy and I know you've been planting things in interviews but we aren't meeting up and I can’t even be with you alone now so please, just stop._ That was too abrupt for me, no signing off or emojis and it all felt so cold. His messages had transformed and so had he, oh how shit changes.

I spent the rest of the night curled up watching videos of me and Harry from when we first got put in the band. Our youth and naivety were so endearing and we were blissfully unaware of just how badly things were going to go. The cuddles, the games, the flirting, it was clear to see we were in love, now we’re strangers. It was a hard thing to stomach, too hard to comprehend so when I feel it coming up I just throw it all away, shutting the laptop and squeezing my eyes to escape the onslaught of tears. I needed a break, a way out.

_Niall- matee, u comin yet? It's been an hour, Eleanor's here and I gotta b at work tmrw but I'm gonna get another two shots cus it doesn’t matter anyway !! Hurry up lad_  
Louis sat outside the bar, his phone buzzing off in his hand until finally, the reply he wanted, comes.  
 _Harry- Maybe I overreacted, you're right. Saw young us on your Instagram yesterday, surprised management hasn't killed you for that yet. Meet me next week at mine, still the same address as always. All the love, H .xx_

With a smile on my face and a slight fear I may be falling for him again, I pressed the phone to my lips and muttered...

“Shit, maybe I miss you.”

**Author's Note:**

> Please leave kudos and comments!
> 
> Twitter- angeltxmlinson


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